Sad Memories Series
by ameliag
Summary: Damon and bonnie think the past..... and each other. The oppurtunity for happiness is presented and bonnie is willing to take a chance..... but will damon give in?
1. Alone

Sad memories  
  
By: Crashnburn_021  
  
PG-13 (maybe more later)  
  
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com  
  
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try  
  
and come up with some characters of my own later.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She remembers them all now. The memories flooding her mind, fragmented  
  
pieces of moments that she thought she had long ago forgotten. But she should have  
  
known better, she should have known that she could never forget. It was just that  
  
sometimes..... sometimes after the sun would set; it would all come back to her.  
  
Sometimes when the world was dark and dreaming and the only sounds that could be  
  
heard were the rustling of animals amongst the street dumpsters or the screeching rats  
  
inside the sewers, and if she reached even further she could hear and feel so much more;  
  
the murmurs of the trees, the solid pride of the rigid mountains, the serenity of the silent  
  
lakes, the whispered secrets of the moon. When all this was real and tangible to her  
  
senses and hers alone, the memories would come back and they brought with them the  
  
irony of the situation. On the last night, that one night that changed everything she had  
  
stood alone.... and afraid. And now, six years later, it is the same. Except that  
  
now there was no longer any fear, but the loneliness, the feeling of standing on the  
  
outside looking in, was permanent.  
  
  
  
She could identify feelings..... emotions felt be those who had been around  
  
her that one night. The pain, the love, the betrayal, and above all was her and her rage.  
  
Pure, unadulterated rage that shot thru her veins and froze the blood in them, rage that  
  
made her want to take it all away. Take away the world and all that was in it. Because  
  
they had all been through so much already, they had been hurting too much for too long  
  
and if she took away the world it would all end. But it didn't end and they had all  
  
survived, they had won the battle, yet there was nothing to celebrate. *The paths of glory  
  
lead but to the grave* and if we would follow our triumph it would lead us all to the  
  
graves of all those who died, those who could not celebrate with us.  
  
  
  
  
  
She should've stopped this self-damnation long ago, but it was the only thing that  
  
made her feel alive these days. On the outside everything was fine; she had good friends,  
  
great career and..... no one to love. She was so alone now only her memories to  
  
accompany her, and she feared this is how it would all end. Her alone. Without anyone  
  
to care for her, because she had missed her chance. That last night had really been the  
  
last, for so many things. Last night of being a bubbly, happy-go-lucky teenager, last  
  
night of having a normal life, last night to tell someone you loved them. And he had  
  
walked away, and she had lost him, because she had been afraid. She was given the rare  
  
opportunity to be happy, something revolutionary, to stop worrying about everything else  
  
and to just be happy. He could've laughed in her face or...... he could've loved  
  
her, but she lost that, because she hesitated. She had been so afraid. Months later she  
  
had promised herself she would never be afraid again, but she was still alone.  
  
  
  
  
  
This is what I have so far, what do you think? Guess you're wondering whom this  
  
character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I think it's obvious?  
  
This is from a poem by Worthwood, I think. But it's not mine!  
  
P.S. this is a complete story on its own, but it might become series. 


	2. He hated this dream

Sad memories (2nd in series)  
  
By: Crashnburn_021  
  
PG-13 (maybe more later)  
  
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com  
  
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try  
  
and come up with some characters of my own later.  
  
  
  
He hated this dream. Hated the sour taste it left in his mouth, the pounding in his head  
  
that would not stop, and the hollowness in his heart that reminded him everyday of the  
  
fact that he was once again alone. It wasn't that he was still hurting from Elena's  
  
rejection; in fact, if he were true to himself he'd be able to admit that the pain wasn't ever  
  
there. It wasn't Elena he had wanted, not specifically; he had simply wanted someone.  
  
Someone to choose him, over everyone and everything, like Elena had chosen Stefan. He  
  
wanted someone to have him. But that was, apparently, too much to ask; just a little  
  
happiness after 500 years of regretting, of loosing a small part of himself to every women  
  
he bedded. "I've lived for so long, suppressing these emotions and now they haunt me  
  
in everything I do." He said out loud, to no one in particular. He just wanted a chance to  
  
be happy, what ever that was. He had done well; saved the small town and its residents,  
  
saved his brother and his friends. He deserved a chance. After being dormant for  
  
centuries, my heart has finally remembered promise and purpose, He thought bitterly as  
  
he sat up in bed.  
  
  
  
  
  
The fucking irony of it was that he had had a chance. She had chosen him, over everyone  
  
else she could've had; she had chosen to have him. Her feelings for him had run deeper  
  
than a simple crush, but he had walked away. He remembered looking into her eyes,  
  
seeing what she saw in him, what no one else had ever seen. What everyone refused to  
  
see, or simply couldn't see. And he had walked away.  
  
  
  
He hated this dream. This dream where she was very real and so achingly  
  
beautiful. Yet so fucking unavailable to him. She would beg him with her eyes,  
  
asking him why he hadn't wanted her. Why he hadn't wanted her the way he had  
  
wanted Elena. And he tried to answer, but could not say a word. He would stand  
  
there and watch every time, watch as the tears formed in her eyes, tears of  
  
rejection. And he wished with all he had and all he wanted that he could tell her;  
  
tell her that he had wanted her, still wanted her now. That he had been scared; he  
  
had seen the real forever in her eyes and he had hesitated.  
  
  
  
In the end the overwhelming need to touch her was making his body ache, and just  
  
looking in to those eyes......God, did she really see that kind of greatness in him?  
  
Just looking into her eyes and recognizing the longing, the barely sustained passion  
  
directed towards him was......devastating. He would wake up sweating, on the  
  
verge of screaming. Wanting to have her next to him. In her place, forever, in his bed.  
  
But she was never there and his heart would sink to the lowest point, because he was still  
  
alone and he could faintly remember that she smelled like strawberries.  
  
  
  
He hated this dream.  
  
  
  
  
  
This is what is the second part in the series Sad Memories, what do you think? Guess  
  
you're wondering whom this character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I  
  
think it's obvious? And tell me what you think about the story, if you want me to  
  
continue or not? 


	3. He hated this dream second version

Sad memories (2nd in series, second version)  
  
By: Crashnburn_021  
  
PG-13 (maybe more later)  
  
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com  
  
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try  
  
and come up with some characters of my own later  
  
  
  
He wasn't one for sentimentalities and he never romanticized anything. But he had loved  
  
her, even if he had never admitted to it; from the beginning he had loved her. Loved her  
  
because of what she had represented, a conquest, something to obtain, to posses and  
  
wield as he pleased. If you could call that love, and in his twisted mind it was the closest  
  
he had ever gotten to loving someone (since his mother), than yes, he had loved Elena  
  
Gilbert. Loved. All she was now was a past weakness, mere fragmented moments. A  
  
memory. Of beautiful eyes that reminded Damon of the one he never had, the one who  
  
didn't think him enough for her. In retrospect, both women had loved him, loved the idea  
  
of him. But he wasn't going to fool himself; he knew they had loved his brother better.  
  
Stefan. For years he hated him, despised what he had represented to Katherine. Honesty,  
  
virtue, dutifulness and integrity warped inside soulful green eyes that bore into you. He  
  
wondered of Stefan knew the kind of power those eyes possessed. In the time he had  
  
looked into those eyes, Stefan near death, he had wanted to do anything for him. Hated  
  
him afterwards for making him feel. Because contrary to popular believe Damon could  
  
feel; he could feel the bloodlust constantly, the barely contained primitive animal inside  
  
him, the anger and outrage rejection caused. He felt all those.  
  
  
  
  
  
The memories were few in between, but they were clear. Meredith. Matt. Bonnie.  
  
Bonnie with all that druid blood running through her veins, interlaced with a silky fire  
  
that was all her own. But they hadn't mattered much, less even, than what Elena and his  
  
brother mattered now. Still bonnie had been beautiful, even more now, he speculated.  
  
She had been a contradiction of herself; weak and scared on the outside, but with a kind  
  
of strength and bravery that was impressive for a human to possess. Back then he  
  
couldn't see that, of course, with Elena around everyone seemed to fall short of his grace.  
  
But he was on the outside looking into the memories, seeing the real in the false.  
  
Looking into her eyes, dark-brown pools with firelights, and seeing what she saw in him.  
  
It was almost too much, even for him, to deal with that. No one had ever..... did she  
  
really see that kind of greatness in him? Yet he had walked away, though having been  
  
tempted to stay one more night, after hearing her say his name that way. He stepped out  
  
of the situation and looked..... really looked and realized what he had to do. Move  
  
on. So he took of his jacket, put it around Elena's shoulders as a sort of goodbye...  
  
how he loved symbolism. And walked away from all of them, from the witch that saw  
  
too much of what he hid, too much for his comfort. Still Bonnie had been beautiful, even  
  
more now, he speculated.  
  
  
  
  
  
This is what is the second part in the series Sad Memories, what do you think? Guess  
  
you're wondering whom this character is? Tell me who you think it is, although I  
  
think it's obvious? And tell me what you think about the story, if you want me to  
  
continue or not? 


	4. Resolve

Sad memories (4th)  
  
  
  
By: Crashnburn_021  
  
  
  
PG-13 (maybe more later)  
  
  
  
Crashnburn_021@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
Characters belong to L.J Smith; I could never create such beauty. I think I might try  
  
  
  
and come up with some characters of my own later.  
  
  
  
  
  
When I was younger, I wanted a to live life, but lately all I've wanted to do is die. To  
  
crawl under the deepest abysmal hole in the earth. To be forgotten by humanity. I've  
  
always believed those dead only feel the pain of death when someone thinks of them, that  
  
is why I want to be forgotten. And I know that what ever he is feeling, where ever he is  
  
right now, he isn't thinking of me. He's moved on and I'm still stuck on him, like an  
  
awful stench.  
  
  
  
"Bonnie, you've been spacing in and out of reality for days, what's wrong?" Teresa was  
  
Bonnie's guide through the cleansing, but for all that she wanted, she could not tell her  
  
about her thoughts. The thoughts that plagued her, that stopped her dead on her tracks,  
  
that made her feel liable and seventeen again. But she would soon be initiated in to the  
  
Coven and such things were not allowed, so Bonnie was set on forgetting, forgetting him  
  
and her past. She had a future now, and she refused to throw it away for something  
  
unreal and inaccessible.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Nothing is wrong Sister Teresa, I've simply been digressing lately. But it isn't anything  
  
I cannot take care of on my own." Bonnie stood up, having made up her mind that she  
  
had to deal with this and deciding the best way to do so, was to confront her feelings dead  
  
on. To confront him. She was going to see Damon.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Peace be with you, Sister Teresa. I need to take care of some unfinished business before  
  
I take my place as a pillar of the Coven. I'll travel to Europe, stay with the sisters that  
  
reside there and I will contact you as soon as I have resolved the issue."  
  
"As you wish. Peace be with you, Child. And I hope that you find what ever it is you are  
  
looking for. For your sake as well as the Covens'" Teresa said solemnly, knowing better  
  
than to start asking bonnie questions she knew she wouldn't get the answers to.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Bonnie could not believe she was doing this; she was going to face him. Get everything  
  
out in the open and see where it takes her. She didn't expect Damon to profess his dying  
  
love for her, but if she didn't tell him soon, everything she had worked for would crumble  
  
around her. This life that she had created, her beloved Coven, life as witch..  
  
everything gone, destroyed.  
  
  
  
She was going to tell him what she had wanted to say for so long. That she loved him,  
  
that she always would. That it wasn't weakness, that she was strong and she needed to  
  
move on. That she didn't expect him to feel the same, she didn't really care how he felt.  
  
Her future was at stake and she refused to back down. And then she'd leave and all  
  
would go back to normal. Al l she had to do now was bring herself to knock on that door.  
  
Suddenly the large wooden door swung open and standing there was Damon, in all his  
  
beauty and glory and bonnie wondered were her determination went. Because as soon as  
  
that door open all she saw was dark eyes and teenage love.  
  
"Well, what a surprise. I must say, it is good to see you again bonnie." Amused look on  
  
his face and a smirk that wont quit. And she can't help herself. Kisses him hard, even  
  
more surprised when he kisses back with a strange kind of intensity that made her  
  
wonder. It really did. 


End file.
